Free guide
The end-of-life planning checklist every family should have
A plain-language walkthrough of the documents, decisions, and conversations that protect your family — with nothing hidden behind a form. Read it here, or download the printable version to work through together.
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Where to begin
Most families do not put this off because they don't care. They put it off because it feels enormous, and because starting it means admitting that someday it will be needed. It helps to remember that this is not one long afternoon of paperwork. It's seven small piles, worked through a little at a time.
Work down the list below in order. Anything you already have, note where it lives. Anything you don't, add it to a short "to do" page. You do not have to finish this to make your family's life dramatically easier — even a half-finished version is far better than the searching most families are left to do.
1. Essential legal documents
These are the papers your family will be asked for first. Gather what exists, note what is missing, and write down where each one is kept.
- Will or trust, with the name and number of the attorney who prepared it
- Durable power of attorney for finances
- Healthcare power of attorney (healthcare proxy or agent)
- Living will or advance directive stating the care you do and do not want
- Birth certificate, marriage or divorce records, military discharge papers (DD-214)
- Social Security card and a current photo ID
- Deeds, vehicle titles, and any loan or lease agreements
2. Medical wishes and care preferences
Documents say what is legal. These notes say what matters to you — the part families most often wish they had in writing.
- Who speaks for you if you cannot speak for yourself, and their backup
- Your wishes on resuscitation, ventilators, feeding tubes, and comfort care
- Where you would prefer to be cared for: home, hospice, hospital, or a facility
- Current medications, allergies, and ongoing conditions in one list
- Names and numbers for every doctor and specialist you see
- Faith, cultural, or personal practices you want honored during care
3. The financial picture
Families rarely need the balances. They need to know what exists and how to reach it.
- Every bank, credit union, and investment account with the institution's name
- Retirement accounts, pensions, and annuities — and their named beneficiaries
- Life insurance policies, including any through an employer or a union
- Recurring bills, subscriptions, and automatic payments to cancel or continue
- Outstanding debts, credit cards, and mortgages
- Tax returns for the last three years and your accountant's contact information
- Location of safe deposit boxes, safes, and their keys or combinations
4. Your digital life
Accounts nobody can access become the most frustrating part of settling an estate. A little preparation removes weeks of work.
- A password manager or a sealed written list, and who is allowed to open it
- Email accounts, which are the key to resetting nearly everything else
- Social media accounts and whether you want them memorialized or closed
- Photo storage, cloud drives, and where family keepsakes actually live
- Online banking, payment apps, and any cryptocurrency
- Legacy contacts assigned inside Apple, Google, and Facebook settings
5. Final wishes and the service itself
Writing this down is a gift. It spares the people you love from guessing during the hardest week of their lives.
- Burial, cremation, or donation, and any pre-paid or pre-planned arrangements
- Whether you want a funeral, a memorial, or a celebration of life
- Music, readings, photos, food, and the tone you hope the day will have
- Who you would like to speak, and who should be notified personally
- Obituary details you want included — and anything you would rather leave out
- A realistic budget and who is responsible for paying for it
6. The people, pets, and belongings you care for
The details that never appear in a legal document, but shape everyone's day-to-day life afterward.
- Guardianship wishes for minor children or a dependent adult
- Who will take your pets, and what those animals need day to day
- Specific belongings you want to go to specific people, written plainly
- Home details: alarm codes, utility accounts, landlord or HOA contacts
- Letters, recordings, or stories you would like to leave behind
7. Keep it findable and current
A perfect plan nobody can find helps no one. This last step is the one most often skipped.
- Keep everything in one labeled place — physical, digital, or both
- Tell at least two people where it is and how to get in
- Review it once a year and after any marriage, birth, move, diagnosis, or death
- Give copies of your healthcare directive to your doctor and your proxy
If you'd rather not do it alone
Sitting with this list is different from sitting with it beside someone who has done it many times. As a life planning doula, I help families work through these decisions calmly — organizing life paperwork, talking through end-of-life wishes, and planning celebrations of life that actually sound like the person being honored.
The first conversation is free and lasts about fifteen minutes. Nothing is decided in it — it's simply a chance to say out loud where you are and hear what a next step could look like.
Start with one conversation.
Start with a free 15-minute conversation — no pressure, no obligations.
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